Jokes on You (Garrus and Joker)
by EchoXMatsuyama
Summary: Summary: You don't want to make an enemy of FShepard Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect 2 or any of its characters, I just mess with them Warning: This has graphic content, guy on guy action. If you do not like them don't read. Please enjoy.


Jokes on You

Garrus Vakerian and Jeff Moreau

By: EchoXMatsuyama

Summary: You don't want to make an enemy of FShepard

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect 2 or any of its characters, I just mess with them

Warning: This has graphic content, guy on guy action. If you do not like them don't read. Please enjoy.

~Start Story~

Garrus walked into the cockpit to see Joker sitting in his chair as usual. He walked over to one of the consoles on the side and pressed a few of the glowing orange keys. The beat that poured from the speakers that were concealed under the machine was heartfelt thrumming club mix that you would find in a quieter region of an Omega dance club.

"Hey hot stuff, I was wondering if you were up to showing me how flexible you are, I'll show you my reach."

A small smile played on the Turian's lips and he came up behind the pilot.

"I'll show you a whole lot more than that."

The jokester replied as he held onto Garrus's arms that hung around his broad shoulders.

The two let go of each other only so that Garrus could now sit on the chair.

As the Turian sat he couldn't tare his eyes away from the strip tease happening in front of him. Joker slowly and teasingly removed bits and pieces of his uniform. Joker's cheeks lit up as he stood in front of his lover completely naked.

Garrus's and Joker's fingers began to intertwine as Joker moved his body, very delicately I may add, onto Garrus's lap. The warmth of Joker's baby peach skin was new and inviting and Garrus couldn't stop himself from running his fingers along it. Garrus's eyes wondered over Joker's naked body, stopping in a few regions, and then moving on to every other nook and cranny.

Human skin is so much more smoother then Turian skin, and when Garrus run his fingers along it a chill ran up his spin in a tremendous tremor of pleasure.

With their bodies so close Garrus just lost all rational thought and he just wanted to have Joker closer to him, to have their bodies intertwined so that it feels as if their two bodies are one.

Garrus's mouth glides across Joker's neck, up his chin, and to those soft lips of his. A groan escapes from deep in Joker's throat. The vibration made its way to Garrus's lips causing him to continue to nip at Joker's lips.

Garrus's hands went from the small of Joker's back down over his ass. Even more cute noises escaped from that sinful mouth of his. Garrus's body became even more turned on, he wanted to take this jokester; he didn't care about others opinions on interspecies sex. All he cared about is that he wanted Joker, and he didn't care wh-…

"EDI! Stop broadcasting this shit!" Joker yelled at the A.I.

"I'm sorry Mr. Moreau my systems have be overwritten."

Joker's eyes widened along with Garrus's, who stood beside him. Who was saying all of this shit over the intercom system? The whole crew was here, and now this had to happen, and when the cockpit doors happen to be close. This must look really suspicious to everyone.

Maybe it was because Garrus was a Turian and they don't blush, but he had to be feeling the same embarrassment that shown itself on the crippled pilots face.

"EDI, figure out where this is coming from, now!"

Just then as EDI began to run a diagnosis the voice came back online, and then it clicked inside both the crippled human, and Turian's head.

"Ha-ha, and only those with the pervy imagination will know what happened next, unless you go and ask Garrus and Joker, who happen to be in the cockpit with each other at this very moment."

The voice was followed by even more maniacal laughter.

"God damn it Shepard!" Joker yelled as he tried to get out of his chair.

"What the hell is wrong with that woman!?What did we do to deserve this?" Garrus said to Joker.

Garrus ran to the cockpit doors and opened them, but as soon as he did he stopped in place. It felt as though every single pair of eyes were on him and joker. On the women's faces was a deep blush, while the men just abhorred. Now this would be the moment when you could see a Turian blush.

This was not happening! The two had no idea what to do. They stood there paralyzed with embarrassment.

"Now I bet you two will think twice about doing what I tell you to do!"

When Shepard said this it kind of sounded like she was on the verge of tears. "This is what you two get for killing my fish! My poor Kaiden Jr.!"

Both Garrus and Joker did an anime fall. Was this really coming out of the Great Commander Shepard's mouth? Their mouths fell open and somewhere deep in their minds there was this voice telling them, 'you could have prevented all this you jerks.'

"Pay backs a bitch huh."

~AFTERWARDS~

"Shepard, I was thinking and you seemed to have put a lot of thought into that small um perverted…embarrassing, story." Garrus said as he sat on Shepard's black leather couch. She moved to her computer and picked it up bringing it down to Garrus.

"It was fairly easy to find Turian, Human interspecies sex." This had taken Garrus a back, There is actually stories about this crap?!

"Now I've heard it all." Garrus's tone sounded as though he was a little depressed.

Shepard handed him her computer and the Turian slowly scrolled down the page, each time the color in his face draining. Shepard just smiled, proud of herself.

~THE END~


End file.
